I had a rough start to the morning, battling with some lingering physical pain that I have dealt with. I have prayed about it, decreed everything I have felt concerning it, I have sought counsel and prayer from those I trust. There have been moments when this season of trusting, praying and believing has overwhelmed me and sucked me into a place where my prayers felt stifled. A place where it seemed my prayers were on repeat, saying the same thing again and again…like a memorized prayer. Even at times doing it because yes I believe it, but also out of desperation. Have you ever felt like that? Praying in hopes that just maybe this time will be the day that you feel a breakthrough?
There are seasons in our life that are so hard they even feel treacherous and it’s extremely difficult to find our footing. I have learned in this season that even in the physical battles, that my spirit cannot respond the way my physical body is feeling. That’s where the faith and the life in the Word of God has become a very true reality for me. This has been the place where my prayer life has been tested.
Today, I was challenged yet again. I found myself in that old familiar place, dealing with this pain issue. I stepped away to re-group and pray. It started off cute, the pleading prayer, Lord help me and take this away, help me through this day, yada yada yada. Now, I’m not knocking or criticizing the cute prayers. I say that only because that’s how I feel concerning myself. For me, cute doesn’t cut it. The enemy doesn’t play cute, he plays dirty and devious. When it’s a real battle it requires a response that defines the boundaries that the enemy is trying to encroach upon, he’s a trespasser and looks for an advantage to gain access.
What I wanted to share is, my prayer took a different turn today. Like I said, it started off cute. I started to pray about the past, going back to the place where I can remember this all became an issue for me. I had just talked about it yesterday with someone. In any way was that me still acknowledging it, or re-visiting that time in my life? In no way was I glorifying it, but I went there in my mind and began to talk about details that I hadn’t touched on in awhile. The past has a way of pulling us back, we’ve all been there. A song, a smell, a certain place. Instantly we’re right back to the memories of that time. The past is a part of us, but it’s not meant for us to live there!
There is also the present. Which is what we are living and doing in real time. However, if the past is dictating our current choices or even more importantly who God has called us to be right now. How effective are we really in walking into destiny, our future? I can tell you it’s very limited, it feels like a yo-yo. One minute we’re up and the next minute we’re down. This is not how we are meant to live, nor is it being victorious.
So, let’s get back to the prayer part. I began to pray beyond just the desperation moment, the pleading for help for just right now. I started to confront the past, I prayed about the re-visiting of that time in my life. I asked God to sever any threads of that time that were still connected to me. Places that I hadn’t even known were still attached. Any cords that were connected to me. Yes, I said cords. What came to me, I had a quick thought of spider webs, dust bunnies, or threads hanging off of clothing. If you’ve ever pulled a thread it just keeps pulling. Or how a dust bunny or spider web seems so difficult to cut away. The thought of cords, well that reminds me of life. Babies are connected to an umbilical cord but when they are born it’s cut, the mother is the life source, but when they are born it’s time for them to breathe on their own. I’m not meant to be connected to anything that is not giving me life. God is the only thing I should be connected to. That cord or thread must be cut, and the only way that is healed is through the healing power of God. I asked him to heal any place in me where the past has settled, where I’ve allowed it to. I got down to the nitty gritty so to speak, prayed over my body and even my cells. The connection to the past and anywhere there has been an open door.
I’ve prayed similarly or so I thought? Today felt different. It wasn’t overly long, but there was an intentionality to it. The threads and cords of the past had to be prayed about differently today. Why? Because of the future. We have a future to contend for. We have promises to obtain. If the past keeps us locked into that mindset of that time, it’s difficult to walk into the new day God has for us. There is power in prayer to break out of the past seasons. The threads of our past do not have to control us any longer. It’s called the past for a reason, that part of our lives has ended. Now, I’m not saying it’s wrong to reminisce about good times or beautiful moments with our families and friends. But, if our past traumas are a place we are re-visiting, then it’s time to be healed. We are not meant to live in the now or the future looking through a “past” lens. The vision we need for now must be through a lens for right now, not then.
I’ve shared all this to be transparent in my journey for this day. It is my hope that you find your moment of prayer and release, whether you are dealing with past threads of trauma or physical pain that is affecting your ability to see into the future God has for you. If it’s trauma, maybe it’s time to seek help or counsel. Asking for prayer or seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. If it’s physical pain or sickness that you are dealing with, I want to remind you that you are not alone. Maybe, you've been hurt or betrayed by someone you’re close to and it seems like your world has been rocked. Perhaps you’re dealing with grief and loneliness and it seems like no one even cares. Whatever it is, I want to remind you and myself that God is waiting to carry the load, that His shoulders can handle anything.
Until next time, blessings to you on your journey.
